101 reasons why Leo hates Reyna
by daughterofares97
Summary: Leo's musings on his girlfriend, Reyna.
1. Chapter 1

**This is what happens when I'm stuck on a boat with an i-pod but no headphones. So, without further ado, I give you**

**101 reasons why Leo hates Reyna**

1) I hate the way she's always right.

2) I hate the way she knows it.

3) I hate the way the way she always puts her duty first.

4) I hate the way she never laughs at my jokes.

5) Even when they are amazingly corny

6) I hate the way should would always glare at me whenever I poke her roman nose.

7) I hate the way she talks about Jason

8) I hate the way she never listens to me when I give her amazing advice.

9) I hate the way she stares at me whenever I ask pertinent questions

10) Like why all ancient greek and roman men were bisexual

11) I hate the way she calls me Loony Leo.

12) I hate the way she always says 'its not the roman way'

13) Even when I ask smart questions

14) Like why don't all people walk around on their hands

15) I hate the way she expects me to know what to do, just because I'm one of the seven.

16) I hate the way her dogs attack me whenever I tell teeny white lies in front of her.

17) Like when I said I didn't eat the entire cake she made for me.

18) And how she always lets her dogs attack me for a bit.

19) I hate the way she always corrects my grammar.

20) Especially when there ain't nothing wrong with my grammar.

21) I hate the way she mocks my crayon drawings.

22) I hate the way she never understands when I make a joke.

23) I hate the way she calls me graecus whenever she's annoyed.

24) I hate the way she thinks I'm having a stroke whenever I start to dance.

25) And then when she calls the medics

26) I hate the way she punishes me whenever I try to kill Octavian.

27) Even when I know she wants to too.

28) I hate the way she always wears her armou.

29) Even though she knows I can't hug her properly when she's wearing it.

30) I hate the way she never lets me ride Skippy.

31) I mean come on, that one time when I dyed him purple was an accident.

32) I hate the way she laughs at my automatons.

33) Come on who doesn't love wombats (especially metal ones)?

34) I hate the way she calls me Spock.

35) Even though she knows I hate Star Trek.

36) And that my pointy ears are awesome.

37) I hate the way she glares at me whenever I try to kiss her.

38) I hate how hot she looks whenever she scowls at me.

39) I hate the way she gags me whenever I start to sing.

40) Especially when we're swimming together.

41) I hate the way she always emasculates me

42) Especially in front of my machines.

43) I hate the way she sometimes steals my clothes just because I annoy her.

44) Especially when I'm in tge shower.

45) And how she beats me up when I do the same to her.

46) I hate how her sister always tries to kill me.

47) I hate the way she threatens to join the Amazons whenever we argue.

48) I hate the way she threatens to put me in a metal collar and an orange jumpsuit.

49) I hate the way she always understands how I feel.

50) I hate the way she's always there when I feel like crying

50) I hate her mother

51) Especially when she tries to kill me.

52) Or takes my Reyrey away from me.

53) I hate the way she never lets her hair loose.

54) And I hate the way she tries to stab me whenever I try to undo her braid.

55) I hate the way she spends all her time training.

56) I hate the way she always has to be a hero

57) Even when it means risking her life.

58) I hate the way she always beats me when we spar.

59) And how she always laughs when she holds her sword to my throat.

60) I hate how cute she sounds when she laughs.

61) I hate how she never punishes Octavian when he steals my teddy bears.

62) Poor, poor Mr. Snuggles

63) I hate it when Lupa comes to talk to her.

64) And she walks in on us making out.

65) Damn, I hate that wolf.

66) I hate the way she refuses to live at camp half blood with me.

67) I hate the way she hits me whenever I poke her

68) It really hurts.

69) I hate how cute she looks when she sleeps

70) And how she calls me a stalker when I tell her that.

71) I hate the way she screams and runs away whenever I offer to brush her hair

72) Come on that one time when I burned most of it off was an accident.

73) I hate the way she always knows when I do something wrong.

74) And how she always knows when to punish me

75) I hate the way she twists my ear.

76) And then drags me around camp.

77) Just because I ate all her jelly beans (they're just so tempting)

78) I hate how she always screams at me.

79) And how turned on it makes me.

80) I hate the way I do whatever she says whenever she gives me puppy dog eyes

81) I hate the way she knows it.

82) I hate the way she acted when she heard about Khione

83) That was scary.

84) I hate it when she gives me strawberry milkshakes.

85) And I turn into a guinea pig.

86) And she refuses to turn me back.

87) Until I run around my cage squeaking.

88) The way she beat up Thalia really scared me.

89) I hate the way she refuses to kiss me when she's wearing a helmet.

90) And how she beats me up when I try to take off her helmet.

91) I hate the way she makes me sleep on the sofa when I annoy her.

92) Even when we don't sleep in the same building.

93) How does she do that?

94) I hate the way she refuses to marry me, even when I beg her.

95) Come on we're 17.

96) Thats old enough.

97) So long as she makes some money.

98) I hate the way she punches me whenever I steal her shoes.

99) She has too many shoes anyway.

100) And her punches hurt, a lot.

101) But most of all I hate the way that I really don't care about any of those things.


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, I got bored and decided to continue this. Yay? Boo? You decide.**

I hate the way he always questions my authority.

I hate the way I have to always be right, just to save face.

Especially when I'm wrong.

I hate his puppy dog eyes.

They make me want to squeeze him until he pops.

I'm sure he knows it.

I hate the way he gets jealous of Jason.

He should know by now that he's the only one I love.

I hate the way he lives all the way across the country.

How am I supposed to kiss him when he's that far away?

I hate the way he sometimes locks himself in his workshop for days on end.

Come on, I'm hotter than his stupid machines.

I hate the way he calls me a stupid organic life form.

I hate the way he screws up everything he touches.

How can you dye a Pegasus purple?

It's not even humanly possible.

I hate the way he shows me up in front of Octavian.

I hate Octavian so very much.

I hate the way he refuses to let me dress him.

He would look _so_ sexy in an orange tracksuit.

I hate the way he always antagonizes my mother.

He should have learnt by now you shouldn't mess with a war goddess.

I hate the way he spends so much time on that ship thing.

He should spend more time planning how to kill Greeks with me!

Oh right…he is Greek.

I hate his stupid Abs.

They make me want to run and jump on him.

But that would be too unprofessional.

He isn't even supposed to have Abs anyway.

Why can't he still be scrawny?

I hate how silky his hair feels when I run my hands through out.

I especially hate how cute he looks when he has oil smudged all over his face.

It makes me want to grab him and smother him with kisses.

I hate the way he always sulks when I beat him sparring.

I gotta admit though, it's kinda funny.

I hate the way he steals my clothes.

Okay, so I usually do it to him first, but it's different, I'm a girl.

I hate the way some of the girls sneer at me, just because he's Greek.

He's not a Graecus.

Gods damn it, why don't I hate Greeks anymore?

I hate the way he doesn't even try to get along with Hylla.

I hate the way I have to stop her from killing him whenever they meet.

I hate how good it feels when he runs his fingers through my hair.

I know I can't trust him though.

He'll probably turn it into snakes or something.

I hate it when he tells jokes.

They're so funny.

But I'm the Praetor, I can't laugh in front of all my subordinates.

I hate how he doesn't get annoyed when I remind him how Rome conquered Greece.

All the other Greeks do.

I hate the way he always gets to apologize first after we fight.

It leaves me on the wrong foot.

And how can I be mad at him?

I hate Piper

More than words can express.

I want to slice her into little ribbons for touching my Leo.

Why does he have to be her friend?

I hate to see him cry.

He doesn't deserve it.

How could anybody be so cruel as to make the poor baby cry?

I hate the way he makes me want to ravish him.

I'm pretty sure it should be the other way around.

But he's just so _ravishable._

Not ravishing, ravishable.

I hate it when he tells me my cheeks are pokable.

Then pokes them for ten minutes straight.

I hate it when he steals my jelly beans.

Those things don't grow on trees ya know.

I hate the way he doesn't know when I'm flirting with him.

And then he starts talking about hydraulic suspensions.

For hours, and hours, and hours.

I hate the way I can now recite all of Newton's laws backwards.

I should really stop listening to him sometimes.

I'm sure knowing this much Physics must be bad for the health.

And it's taking up space which should be reserved for battle strategy.

I hate the way he can build a supercomputer the size of an i-pod

And yet he can't pick up a sword without accidentally murdering himself and anyone who walks too close to him.

I really don't understand how he manages to do that.

I hate his cooking.

It's so addictive.

And he's way better than me.

That injures my pride.

I hate the way he once vomited on the Legion's eagle.

Now that took some smoothing over.

I hate the way he bought $200 worth of tuna.

For the feast of Fortuna.

I swear he did that just to annoy me.

If he does that again I think Fortuna will curse Camp Jupiter for all eternity.

I hate the way he always speaks Spanish whenever we argue.

He only does it because he knows I can't speak it.

And that it pisses me off.

I hate that stupid smirk of his whenever he gets under my skin.

I want to punch that stupid smirk off his face.

But whenever I do, he whimpers.

And I can't stop myself from hugging him.

He's just so damn adorable.

Like a little fluffy puppy.

An evil fluffy puppy.

But just so damn adorable.

I hate his pointy ears

But most of all, I hate just how much I love him.


End file.
